42 Things that Cold-EEZE Unfortunately Can’t be Shorten by 42%!

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Not Shorter 42%

Did you know that the average cold lasts 9 days? Oh yes. Nine painful, miserable, unending days where you not only feel awful, but your awful feelings are compounded by fear of missing all of the things you can’t do because of it. But friends, there’s hope! Cold-EEZE lozenges have been clinically proven to shorten the duration of the common cold by 42%*. That’s nearly half!! Cue the “Hallelujahs!”

Yea Squirrel

But what does that mean in practical terms? That means that you can catch a virus over the weekend, start feeling those first tell-tale cold symptoms on Monday (you know, you wake up a little groggy, head heavy, a little tickle in your throat, maybe a sneeze here and there….). First you immediately start taking Cold-EEZE about every 2-4 hours, and by the next day, you can tell that you don’t actually feel worse, as you usually would! So you keep taking it, making sure that you’re also hydrating, resting as much as possible and getting your nutrients (check out our sick day post for the essentials you need to help you get well faster!).

And hopefully, by Friday…poof! No more cold! (Probably**) And you can get back to your regularly scheduled programing.

Now, as AH-mazing as that is (you know, turning an often painful and irritating inconvenience that derails your life into an almost non-event?? What is this voodoo??!), unfortunately there are plenty of other irritating inconveniences in life that we really, truly wish that Cold-EEZE could also shorten by 42%. But we can’t. So we made a list. We came up with 42. How many more can you come up with?

Here are 42 things that Cold-EEZE unfortunately cannot shorten by 42% (at least!)

1. Your in-laws’ stay at your apartment
2. Time between when Christmas music starts playing everywhere and actual Christmas
3. Monday morning commute traffic
4. Tuesday morning commute traffic…Wednesday morning commute traffic…
5. The waiting at the gate when your Friday night flight gets delayed
6. Anything having to do with the DMV…thinking about the DMV…
7. The wait before your Uber arrives (watching the little car inch sloooowly into the wrong turn…)
8. The microwave countdown when you worked through lunch and are starving at 4pm
9. Waiting for your tax refund to arrive in the mail
10. The time between seasons for Game of Thrones
11. The time it takes for them to “call you back”
12. The time before your student loans and/or mortgage get paid back
13. Winter in Boston (or summer in Arizona!)
14. The time it takes to get your dog to poop in the right place
15. The amount of time that you’re jet lagged after arriving at your dream vacation destination
16. Your “headache” after a fun Friday night
17. Pumpkin spiced-anything
18. The time standing by a stationary baggage belt after a long flight
19. The time between when you purchase your discount vacation tickets and the day you actually leave on vacation
20. The waiting time until the next cool astronomical event
21. The number of “intense” political conversations on social media
22. Your disappointment at fireworks shows
23. The number of different chargers from Apple
24. The amount of spam emails you receive in a week
25. The number of afterschool activities you need to drive your kids to
26. The number of Christmas gifts you need to buy
27. The sheer volume of Black Friday madness
28. The number of things that can go wrong on your wedding day
29. The number of times your mom calls you in a week
30. The number of times an Ed Sheeran song plays on the radio (sorry…love you Ed!)
31. Friends reruns (sorry Friends, we love you too)
32. The number of rainy weekends in a year
33. The number of Fast & Furious Movies
34. The number of Kardashians on television and magazine covers
35. The time it takes for your shower to warm up
36. The time between Monday morning and Friday afternoon
37. The time between Thanksgiving and New Years
38. The flight when you’re sitting next to a crying baby (poor baby…but also, your eardrums…)
39. The time between when you say it’s bedtime and the kids actually go to bed
40. The probability of cracking your new smartphone screen
41. The number of awkward family reunions
42. Middle school

Your turn! What would you add to this list? Tell us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram!

*Although the precise mechanism by which zinc ions interfere with the cold virus has not been scientifically established, the Cleveland Clinic study demonstrated that Cold-EEZE lozenges significantly reduced the duration of the common cold.

**Of course, results may vary!